Overcoming the End

“And I know that holding us in place is simply fear of what’s already changed.” – Manhattan – Sara Bareilles

 

I do a podcast with a friend and colleague called Hats Off Podcast.  Last week, we sat down with a wonderful woman who shared how she overcame an abusive relationship. During the interview, we discussed how often people stay longer than they should. We recognized that people often stay to avoid the ending, even when they know it’s inevitable.  I started thinking about how difficult it is to overcome endings.  Whether it’s death of loved ones, break-ups, losing jobs or losing friends, endings often linger longer than any other part of an experience.  We remember so vividly the last thing we said or did.  We carry a lifetime of regret for a single moment within an entire experience.  What if we recognized that the ending was just one part of the entire story; not even it’s own chapter.  Just a line…The End.  There were lessons and laughter and beauty in so many other parts of our stories.  We don’t benefit from focusing on the end.  We spend time dissecting what went wrong and why it ended.  We move into our new experiences full of fear because we don’t want to experience another ending and therefore, sometimes we don’t even begin.  So today I challenge you to give endings their true place; as just a moment.  When you find yourself ruminating on the ending, remind yourself of all the good that was there before the ending.  Not as a way to linger in the past but as proof that good exist and can exist again.  Focus on what you need to learn and heal to be prepared to experience something new and healthier.  Forgive every hurt and harm that came out of an experience so that you don’t carry the baggage of someone else’s poor choices into your next chapter.  Be open to something different.  Stop looking for the same person, job, friend and accept that if you were meant to stay in those relationships, you would have remained. Endings create space, don’t fill it with regrets and questions.  Be bold enough to embrace the new journey and live out loud!

 

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